|
| Ok, so here's the thing. Right now I really want to tell the world my desires....because I'm bursting inside with them. BUT I don't want the whole world to know my desires....so how do we solve this problem? Xanga. (which is such a strange word when you think about it....) This way I feel like I'm telling the world because I'm "blogging", but in actuality...I'm really just telling Sam...:) But it's okay, because Sam, you are the world to me ;) haha. So lately, Afghanistan has been so heavily on my heart that I can't really think of anywhere that I want to be right now except there. I feel like mentally I've been there ever since I picked up the book that sparked my interest. Kabul Beauty School. I started reading it an was instantly drawn to the people, lifestyle, society. I know that to most normal people that may sound so absurd and far out there...but not to me. My heart instantly broke for these women of Afghanistan. I know how it feels to be like, "oh I wanna go there and help those people" but never have I felt SO DRAW to a place like I am to Afghanistan. I've been doing my best to persue this dream, and although challenging, I'm excited to see where the Lord leads me with it. I just know that if the opportunity opens up for me to go....I don't think I would hesitate much to drop everything here and go there. Would you pray that for me? That doors would be opened and that my heart would be prepared to leave everything behind? That would be awesome! Thank you :) I love you guys! and don't be afraid to chase your dreams. As a dear friend of mine told me when I said, "I wish I could go there.." you CAN GO if you'd like...You. Can. Go. Make a difference in someone's life today :) | | |
| The title of this really holds no relevance to what I'm going to type. Well, except for the fact that this IS in fact the day that the Lord has made. I find we all too oft forget that each morning we open our eyes is a blessing. Each breath we take is a gift from the Lord. Every second the world remains in proper orbit is only because God lets it be so. How, then, is it so difficult for me to remember that everything I do should be as an act of worship to my God? We're always like, "How do I worship God when I brush my teeth/take a shower/tie my shoes/etc" Maybe if we took the time to realized how fearfully and wonderfully we are made! We have TEETH! They chew the food that nourishes our bodies! We have clean, running water and the capability of riding our body of our dirty everyday lifestyles. I don't know, I guess it's just sometimes frustrating to me when people look at themselves and are disappointed. They think they're no big deal....YOU ARE! I'm a big deal! I may not be anything special to anyone here on earth...but dangit I'm FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made by the God of the Universe!! He said so Himself!! And how can I ever feel failure if I truly understand that Overwhelming victory is mine through Christ. When I'm right with God, I have NOTHING to fear! I want to live a life for Christ that accurately depicts that...which means I live recklessly for my Jesus. I fear no death, I fear no lonliness, I fear no rejection, mockery, discrimination. Whenever He's ready, I'm ready for Jesus to take me home. Hebrews 13:14-19 14 For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. 15 Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name. 16 And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God. 17 Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit. 18 Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do. 19 And especially pray that I will be able to come back to you soon. Think about that for a while.... :) All My Love.
| | |
| Jeeze...Xanga got all high tech with their site and I don't know how to do anything...I think it took me about 15 minutes to figure out how to post a new blog. I guess it doesn't help that I'm not exactly computer savvy and I'm quite impatient. I think I'm too annoyed right now with xanga to post anything of substance. Sorry. Hey, Sam...let's you and I start a xanga revolution...just with each other....ok? :) LOVE YOU!! ps....I'm embarrassed at how much I talk about petty things like boys and bad days on here. Pitty. I should get a cyber-life. Seriously....:) | | |
| It seems like there are just some people in this world where everything works out for them. They can get any person they want, everyone likes them, they're ultra talented, beautiful, have their life in order, happy-go-lucky. I regret to inform you i am not one of those. I would actually say i'm one of those people who not a lot of things work out in my favor. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I've got a lot of good things going for me! But as far as relationships go...I've never had much luck there. Maybe it's God's way of constantly showing me he's in control...but i wish he could give me a hint as to WHY some of these things happen. It seems I always fall so hard for someone who is apparently so far out of my league...but I can't help it. Then I end up heartbroken and there's nothing i can do about it...and it takes so long for that to heal up! Then I get so guarded because I'm so afraid of getting hurt again...because it seems to happen every time...and I push people away. HELP ME! This is not a good habbit to get into. I'm a little on the frustrated side right now...that's all... | | |
| tonight was not my favorite night, i must say. it started out great! i went to Reverb with my little sister and afterwards we got something to eat with a couple other girls. we had a lovely time and i rather enjoyed their company :) then i came home, only to turn around and head out to a friends house. we watched a good movie with a bunch of friends. (not sounding to bad so far, eh?) so then as i proceed to leave...the one person decides it would be so funny to wrestle bobbi. this young man proceeded to keep wrestling with me, even when i told him to stop in many forms...many times. i fought back for a while....mostly cause i wanted to do what i could to hurt him without waking the whole family. then finally i stopped moving...he "pinned me" and i very rudely said, "umm...are you done?"...trust me, it was rude. so i left the house very annoyed, needless to say. well, then i get to my house and it's 2:00 in the morning, and i'm freaking locked out. i don't know how that happened, cause everyone was asleep when i left i thought...but whatever. so i had to call and wake my mom up b/c i don't have a key for some reason...never have. so she let me in and i go up to my room to find that i left my window open...which wouldn't have been a big deal...except it was raining...and my bed and floor by the window were pretty well soaked. some of my tests and papers that i still need got soaked....it just didn't make me super happy. so now i have no bed to sleep in for the night...and it's just not my favorite night maybe. anyway, i just needed to rant before i went to bed...you know.....it was nothing important...and i'll probably delete this in the near future cause i'll read it and realize how gay it sounds..but for now...it's needed ventilation :) | | |
|
